Are you there, Dean?
by HobbitLover4eva
Summary: Tag to 4x02 Are you There, God? Dean gets a phone call from Jo, who's just learned he's alive, after the horror of the Rise of the Witness. Emotionally Wrecked!Jo and Grim!Awkward!Dean. Subtle Jo/Dean.


**Title: Poems, Prayers and Promises**

 **Summary:** _Coda to the 4x02 Are You There, God? Dean gets an unexpected phone call from Jo, who's just heard he's alive, after the horrific events of the Rise of the Witnesses. Jo and Dean Hurt!Comfort one shot*_

 **Pairings:** _Subtle Jo/Dean_

 **Warnings:** _None really, just Emotional Angst and Cursing._

 **Disclaimer:** _I own nothing but the Plot Bunny that I had that Jo might call Dean soon after this episode._

 **Author's Note:** _So, I always thought Jo's meeting with Dean in season 5, that simple "hey", was waaay too casual to be their first meeting/or talk after he came back from the dead. I figured maybe she found out earlier that season or in season 4? This was just my little fangirl headcanon. Because I always thought Jo and Dean were adorable together ;)_

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A bottle of Jack Daniels sounded really good. After angels, battles with vengeful spirits of old failures, nearly being gutted by ghost Hendrickson, oh and the revelation of fucking Lucifer being real…yeah, Jack was wide open arms of comfort. Dean swiped one from Bobby's desk, twisted off the lid and took a long swig of it as he sank back down into the couch.

He probably should've been helping Sam and Bobby with their stupid research on the apocalypse. But that last talk with that Castiel bastard…angels and the apocalypse sure as hell weren't what he wanted to dive into right now. If Sam only knew. Knew that his cuddly, oh so awesome guardian angels threatened to throw Dean back into hellfire for so called disrespect… Which is exactly why he wouldn't ever tell him, couldn't just crush Sam's faith in something he'd _needed_ so badly. Kid had always wanted some greater good, some comfort for the fucked up hell they saw every week. He'd had far too much innocence ripped away from him already, so Dean sure as hell wasn't gonna add to it.

"Hey. You sure you're ok?" Sam's narrowed eyes looked him over suspiciously from the table. He had 5 different books spread out open over it, soaking up all End-of the-World lore he could at one time. But his bullshit detector was on high alert after yesterday's shitstorm. That was another thing different about Sam now, he had a sharpness that put Dad to shame. "No BS, Dean. I don't want something to come back to bite us in the ass." There was such raw fear, stark pain in his brother's features it brought Dean bizarre relief amidst the lingering poison of guilt festering in his heart. That even after what felt like years being gone, his little brother still wore his emotions on his sleeve. Still a girl.

But a grimace still twisted Dean's features. Hendrickson's unexpectedly fiery hot fingers routing around in his insides, just seconds from tearing his heart out-he'd be glad to bury the whole damn memory 15ft. under. In cement. Maybe liquor was the better way. "I'll be fine. Just wish I could forget the whole damn day." He lifted the bottle to his lips again while Sam's mouth pinched.

Zeppelin's guitar solo geared up out of nowhere. So much shit had happened past couple days the brothers and Bobby all flinched from the unexpected interruption.

"Who…" Dean jerked up from the couch and glanced around for the source of it.

"It's your phone, Dean." Sam realized, locating the hidden cell under a book. He quickly tossed it to his brother.

Shit, had it gotten so crazy that he'd forgotten his own ringtone? Dean pulled the phone up, eyes crinkled momentarily at the _Unknown Caller_ displayed on screen before putting it to his ear. "Yeah?"

"Dean?" An anxious, fatigue-soaked voice ground out through the other line. "Is that you?"

"Who's asking?" he demanded suspiciously, eyebrows furrowing as he scratched his memory for a match to this familiar voice. It was a woman that was for sure. An old flame maybe? His mind grasped for any face among the dozens of women he'd been involved with. Come on, think. Narrow it down, only a few faces had been really important to him. Cassie? He shook that off. She wouldn't even know he died. Neither would Lisa. And he'd only been back a few freaking days, who could find his new number that quick?

"Dean..." the woman sighed out in relief. "I heard—Bobby said something brought you back. He gave me your number so I would believe it. You alright? Where are you?"

"Like I said who the—" The air left Dean's lungs as the face of the caller finally registered. Curly blond locks, tenacious chestnut brown eyes, sassy, and her shotgun jamming into his back before she punched him in the face at the Roadhouse…that all seemed like years ago instead of just 2. She gave herself away with that faintly exasperated tone she used with his name—"Jo?" the creases on his forehead softened, the edge to his tone dissolved.

"Jo? Is she alright?" Sam demanded, rising from his chair.

"Hey Dean..." Jo breathed, her strained voice teetering on the precipice of breaking down. "Man, it-it's good to hear you again. You alright?" there was a faint grunt over the line, years of Dean's attuned hunter hearing picked it up quickly as a sound of pain.

Eavesdropping listeners being the last thing he wanted with Jo, Dean waved Sam off and walked out the back door to the junkyard "Yeah, I'm good." He answered with a quick look around to make sure he was alone. "Good as new actually." He added, recalling his pretty much brand new, healed body. His features tensed as something else dawned on him. "Jo, What about you?"

Because shit…that damn Rise of the Witness seal had targeted _hunters._ They'd already salted and burned far too many good hunters taken out from that damn broken seal. " _And not just here, 20 other hunters are dead."_ Castiel had said. "Were you attacked by vengeful spirits-victims you couldn't save?" Dean demanded, pacing the earth like a bear.

"Happened to you too?" Jo rasped grimly. "I wondered about that. Let's just say Mom and I are lucky to be in one piece. For the most part."

"You and Ellen both got jumped?" his voice rose frantically, breath picking up rapidly as a groan slipped Jo's lips. Truth was he, Sam and Bobby barely thought of anyone outside their circle since Dean's return. Priority number 1 had been what the fuck had brought him back. Then with the revelation of _angels_ saving him right before all fucking hell broke loose with the killer witnesses, how much time had there been to even think of Jo and Ellen? But still guilt rose up in him like a tsunami. "You hurt? You need somebody to come get you?" he demanded agitatedly, overrun with a swarming irrational anger.

"I…I almost got my guts ripped outta me but-I'm good. Other guys in our area were jumped too…some didn't make it so I thought of you. W-What about Sam and Bobby?"

The heavy burden of fury lifted off him knowing she wasn't badly hurt after all, allowing Dean to breathe easy again. He sighed, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. "Yeah, they're alright. We did a spell, banished all the ghosts back to the beyond or wherever they came from. We're safe now."

Jo stifled another groan. "Huh... Is that why they up and vanished in a flash of light? That was you guys?"

So it was the same for other hunters too. Dean ground his teeth, the struggle to stay alive to do the spell playing back in his mind. "Yeah. Barely made it in time too. They almost got Bobby."

Of all the ways for Jo to respond, he didn't expect her laugh. A weak _, thankful_ giggle. It filled him with a peculiar shock. Man, had it been that long since he'd heard honest-to-God laughter?

"Damn… Then you saved our asses too, Dean. Mom and I were cornered, one of them was just about to rip out my freaking heart when they disappeared." Another laugh, this one teary. "Good timing."

That froze his blood solid in his veins, stole his breath. "Fuck, Jo…" head dipping, his hand scraped across his face. Fuck, if they'd been just a second later… it was a crushing shitload. That they'd saved themselves and their friends by a fucking second.

Jo's tone shifted, taking on a softer murmur. "Don't... There's nothing to be upset over. We're ok." There was a sharp creak of a car door. Jo let a slow breath, like she'd eased herself down into a car seat.

"Ok my ass. You sound like crap." He snorted at that, lips twitching upwards. "Where's that irritating, stubborn badass chick from the Roadhouse?"

"Don't turn into my mom." He could almost hear her smile.

Which made him pause, his heart slamming to a stop. "Ellen…is she alright? She with you now?"

"Yeah, she's inside checking on a friend of ours. We're uh, hunting together now."

Dean's eyebrows went far into his hairline, staggered. "Really?"

"Yep." A choking pause. "I figured it was time for a partner and Mom was the only volunteer. It drives me freaking crazy but at least I know she's watching my back."

"I'm _sure_ of that." There was a genuine smile spreading on Dean's lips now, remembering Ellen's kick-ass over-protective streak. "She'll send any monsters running."

Another chuckle bubbled up from Jo's lips. But this time Dean really felt something was wrong with it. Like…it sounded she was teetering the precipice of tears.

His whole body stiffened with dread as he recognized the subtle signs: a silent avalanche of emotion was about to cascade his way. Just like before at Bobby's those years ago when she'd showed up to re-stitch his wound.

So time to make a break for it. He swallowed, starting in a rush. "Ok so, uh…thanks for the call. Glad you guys are ok. I'll let you—"

" _Dean_." Jo was livid, breath coming in tremors from barely contained feelings and Dean knew he'd screwed up, falling silent to wait for the eruption.

But it never came.

"Dean. I—I'm-sorry." Her hoarse rasp caught on the last word.

Oh crap, chick flick here we come. Dean's stomach twisted to listen and he shut his eyes furiously, wishing he was anywhere but here. But true to form, he tried to play it off even as his reply cracked. "Look Jo, you're wiped. You probably should get some sleep."

"Shut up." She bit back but there was no true venom in it. That sassy fighter in her had vanished. Dean had never heard Jo this distraught. Her voice shook, tone weighed heavy with sticky guilt as she faltered out. "I just…I should've been there with you guys in New Harmony back then. I shouldn't have been fucking _sitting_ on my ass while you guys were fighting to save your life… So, I'm sorry."

Dean coughed awkwardly. "You got nothing to be sorry for." He promised hoarsely, throat closing up against his will.

"Stop covering my ass, Dean! I should've been there to help you, damn it!" a sudden near snarl came out of Jo, causing him to flinch. His crappy attempt at reassurance didn't make a dent in the iron shell Jo's intense emotions had encased her in. "I _would have_ if I'd been given a fucking phone call..." And she abruptly bit off, suffocatingly silent for a long time.

So long Dean sighed heavily. "Jo."

"N-No." she swallowed thickly as her voice cracked. "Goddamn it, Dean…I-I _saw_ you after- I fucking lost it. I had to stop hunting for _weeks_ because I was so out of my mind. So don't—ever tell me that it's ok! Don't fucking tell me that its fine I wasn't there to help you!"

Had to stop hunting? The hell-saw him? Dean bit bone dry lips and his stomach heaved. "What do you mean you "saw me?"

"Your bloody...ripped up body, that's what I saw..." even though Jo's rasp was more then broken she kept on. "Torn in shreds, B-Bobby trying to stitch you up..." her voice fell away and died. It nearly killed you just to relive horror like that. Every fiber of Dean's being remembered that. So for Jo's sake, he dropped his 50,00 questions of how and why she ended up at Bobby's after his death. Not like it even mattered.

Dean swiped a hand over his forehead, closing his eyes like to block out the pain but it bled through to his heartfelt. "I'm sorry, Jo." _for you and Sam._ "Look, its why I didn't want you there, alright? I knew how that gig in New Harmony was gonna go down. So what was the point of dragging you into it? I was going to hell no matter what. You'd have ended up another dead body and I wasn't gonna have that on me."

The anger sparked by that lent Jo temporary strength. "Well _so_ _what_ if I did? Shit, Dean, hunters stare down death every day! You think that stops me? I wanted to make that stand with you! I—" Another hasty stop. Then Jo choked, slurping something down. "Shit! I...I wanted to be there to help you fight back, to save your life. A-And I wasn't."

Fuck. His shoulders began to slump from the broken dam of emotions, chest tightening to the point he barely breathed.

Any semblance of composure in Jo's croak had crumbled. "And you…people don't come _back_ from hell, Dean."

Dean bit his lips. "I know." and dick angels who wouldn't step in to save 20 hunters saving his ass was the freaking opposite of comforting.

"I mean-I can't forget about that. Thinking I'd never see you again, that you'd be— _burning_ in hell forever... I can't-" and she broke. All those tears he could hear her struggling to push away finally caught hold of her. Her ragged sobs choked up out of her-stabbing Dean in the heart like a blade.

"Jo—come on…" he feebly attempted then aborted. Just the sound of her strangled cries drove him insane. Already his eyes began to sting with the burn of tears. His fingers bawled into fists, itching venomously to beat something or he was gonna lose every shred of barely-held control. "Ok, Jo, we need to stop. How about I let you go—"

That threat worked instantly. Jo gulped down a sob and half-growled, half-choked. "Y—y-You hang up…I-I'll find you and b-beat your ass. You jerk..." he heard a hacking, shaky cough, Jo slurping noisily as she fought to stop.

He drew a breath, nerves still in chaos and fingernails digging bloody ridges in his palms. "I'm not gonna lie, Jo. It was good hearing from you. I'm glad you're alright."

"Y-You too." She sniffled huskily.

Dean paused, lips pressed as his mind debated. "How about next time I see you I buy you dinner—the whole nine yards? I owe you for all the trouble I've given you."

A wet snort from Jo. "What, you trying to seduce me?"

"What? No!" he freaked, body stiffening. "I didn't mean like that. I just meant you deserved some— forget it." his features soured and tapered off. "Never mind."

The stillness from Jo's line this time was uncertain, you couldn't read into it. He couldn't discern anger, joy, nada.

"I know what you meant, Dean." She let a raspy exhale. "Thanks. I uh, I hope we come across each other soon?"

"I'm sure." Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "You stay safe till then, hear me?"

An incredulous scoff passed her lips. "You seriously saying that to me? You're the one who clawed out of a grave a few days ago. You take your own advice, hotshot."

Caught, Dean muttered. "I can't promise anything."

"You try." Jo demanded, voice on the verge of bending. Her suppressed powder keg of emotion growing unstable again. " _You_ try to your damnest to stay safe, understand? You got a second chance, Dean. Don't you waste it. Please."

He nodded soberly, pouring every drop of seriousness into his words. "I don't plan on it, trust me." he took another long second and murmured almost mournfully. "Bye, Jo. I'll see you around."

"See you, Dean." She whispered softly.

Dean slowly closed the phone, walking back across the yard to Bobby's house like a man with a thousand pounds on his shoulders.

 **End**

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 _ **AN:** Ok, I'm sorry for any mistakes or if it seems a bit abrupt of an ending. I wanted to get this out to see what people thought of it. I really love exploring the unique relationship Dean has with Jo. I mean its just so fun, they can butt heads and still have that powerful romantic tension. That makes for a interesting, fun relationship, especially to write. But for this story, I chose to go really deep, because the ramifications of the Deal and its traumatic effect on Jo were never addressed. So I played around a bit. _

_Also, I understand the idea I presented that Jo saw Dean's dead body after he was killed by hellhounds might be a long shot to alot of readers. But since there's absolutely no canon about where she ends up after season 2, much less 3, I took some fangirl liberty. Plus, it gives a little more explanation for Jo's level of emotion. I somehow doubted she would be as shaken up as I portrayed her just hearing about it. And, i intend to reveal a bit more of that particular story of how she came to be at Bobby's after No Rest For The Wicked in a future fic ;)_

 _I also wanted to explore a little of what happened to Jo and Ellen after season 2. And being that the Rise of the Witness seal was geared to go after hunters_ _, its pretty likely Ellen and Jo were effected. And I found it very reasonable to believe Bobby's spell probably saved their butts too._

 _I also always believed Jo and Ellen would've been there in the season 3 finale too, if they could have. No way they just abandoned Dean and Sam, especially after the deal._ _This was my attempt to explain why they weren't there. That they just weren't told about the plan._

 _Please review! :D I love feedback!_

 _And look forward to more stories that feature Ellen and Jo!_


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